Million Billion Trillion

August 26, 2009 - Wednesday

Weekly Reconsideration of Future Plans
Hello

this week i want to apply for med school/or/take post grad studies in isreal and learn arabic/hebrew/ or apply for tropical med courses at Griffith or London/ and i was thinking i would like to hang more with my peeps

take an indian cooking class

run a marathon

get really great at self-mastery

read the dozen or so books on my bedroom floor

write letters to government

hang out some more with si, drink some more splendid coffee, listen to more incredible tracks and indulge the little half of me that wants a man, a fire place and some laughter in the long evenings

i am a revolving door i swear it.
10:11 PM
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August 17, 2009 - Monday

What Have I Learned
So that Aristotle can weigh in on this persuit of Eudamonia

That God is in all things, regardless of me, but in particular for me
That my destiny is the next persons destiny, there is an implaccable oneness in mankind when Donne says no man is an island, i know the man he is talking about.

It doesnt matter how hard we try or what kind of lovely motives we might have, if God is not for it and in it, it wont succeed.

We hold a fragile flower of hapiness the day we are born into this world and the first breee and subsequent breezes blow away the petals, ragged and worn....why cant we see that hapiness is not somthing that we are grasping hold of and letting go of peice by peice, its just that grasp, the first taste of what can be.....and then on your way to recreate all your new born dreams.

We are always children. Our minds cannot be old, or old enough; at the end of our lives there are always the things remaining that we were too young to know. There are truths, we have to say that keep arriving, and departing as often as we need.

I love me, love you. God.

God is love. This is the sum total of all I have learned.
11:43 PM

August 17, 2009 - Monday

Faint Hearted
Who else faints every day? ........

....

just me?!

ive put up with it for sooooooo long it feels, i mean today it just made me cry and feel so frustrated. I had to come home and nap. missed out on my beloved global health, which i advertise to everyone and then cant even go myself

im tired of it

surgery seems like a dream to me now.
6:40 PM

August 15, 2009 - Saturday

most of every day - poetry of me
Current mood: blessed
my four sisters are all together and they're with thier boyfriends and husbands and lovers.

and they are all happy watching movies

but im here in the dining room studying

so its like they're in the next room but at the same time on the otherside of the world to me


this is smooth sailing for me

i like being here and not there

right along side them all while we rock in the bay

and soon as im done with uni ill be on my way out to sea....




3:29 PM

August 2, 2009 - Sunday

this is exciting
Current mood: dorky
blerrrrrrrrrr i cant resist.....must......not...........blog.......dammit

why do i do this to myself? so little to say, so many words to say it with!!!

what could possibly follow that up? Im at a complete lull in my melodious little life and i dont like it one bit. all my sisters are getting married and every conversation is about marriage and then a spotlight shines on me and im like "oh, me? i didnt know we had to?" im ALWAYS late

this week in classes for four classes I arrived late, one of them 15 minutes late, interrupted the lab class with my dramatic entry, when my cell phone rang, then i sat down quickly, looked around, recognised no one.....dawning feeling.......im in the wrong bloody class

sorry guys

lately i feel like im over Andy and Braam broken heart creepishness enough to think that yeah! i want to risk everything again for the sake of the ONE and I mean ive been the worlds most stubborn sad sorry person now for looooooong time, so

universe?(im talking to you)

Bring it.

- - - - - - - - - im back on.........